The History of Billiards (The Good Parts)

Back in the 13th century there was a king named Louis the XIV.  He was a rebel compared to his father Louis the XIII.  Louis Jr. didn’t much care for rain and he wasn’t afraid to make his servants do something about it.

 

You see, rain had some pretty negative effects on Louis lawn games.  So what he did was he told his servants to fashion him a brilliant game, an outdoor game that was played indoors.

 

His servants puzzled for a few days.  Watching people play croquet and other lawn games, and then they realized what must be done.

 

They miniaturized croquet and put all the necessary amenities onto a comfortably sized table.  This wasn’t quite billiards, but over time it developed and evolved.

 

200 years after the birth of an addled and confused indoor-outdoor game the Queen of Scots was invaded.  The invaders demanded that she never play billiards ever again, and then they killed her and covered her body with the billiard cover.

 

Sure, that is all impressive and good, but billiards did something much more for society and, perhaps, the world. It was only a few hundred years after its primitive infantile conception people would actually play pool, not just anybody but everybody.

 

There was an aristocratic split in society back in those days.  This led to basically a split in the culture leaving almost two separate societies within one.

 

Billiards though bridged that gap.  It was the sinew that held society together, or something close to it.

 

Both rich, snobby socialites from their uptown hillside houses would play pool and then also the slummy gutter dogs that would gamble away their opium money.  Yes it was a beautiful time in history.